The Scent of Bliss – Nize Hat

Nice Hat from ZOMG Smells

It won yesterday’s vote, so I wore it today! (To vote for tomorrow, see the list following the review)

The Official Product Description Sez:
Because a nize hat deserves a nize scent, ja. Remember, however, that “nice” compares to “nize” the way a pleasant day by the sea compares to conquering that sea at the head of a flotilla of mighty clockwork sharks. We do not use “nize” lightly, oh no. This is a nize scent.

Ambergris, coconut meat, white cedar pitch, and olibanum.

They lied. This is not a nize scent. It’s also not a nice scent. It’s weird as hell and leave me feeling uncomfortable (though not to the point of needing an adult.)

Opening this bottle, I was assaulted by complicated smell. I know yesterday I said The Baron was complicated, but this is complicated in a completely different way. That was complicated due to the subtle intermingling of countless associations of power, domination, paperwork, and gentlemanly pursuits. This was complicated like a Jager let run wild in a haberdashery. It was like cotton cloth stored too long and permanently impregnated with the weirding sweetness of mothballs, overlaid with a collected miasma of roaddust and exotic spices, a drift of sandalwood… and cheap wax.

On the skin, as it dried and just after, that scent of cheap wax not only lingered, but began to dominate the other smells. Wax and the plastics found in 1980’s cheaptoy stores and candy shops – there was a sort of sweetness (dark cherry syrup?), that reminded me more than anything else of fluid-filled wax candies. Except wax fish candies. It’s weird – there was no overt fishiness to it, and yet there was an undeniable, quietly persistent undertone that kept making me think of bait and fishing. Ugh. (Having read the OPD since jotting down my impressions this morning, I can only think that someone hy mental pathways picked up the ambergris and made unexpectedly appropriate associations, me having grown up not just by the sea but in the family bait and tackle shop. There might likely be absolutely no such associations for someone who has spent little or no time around the fishing community.)

Now, at the end of the day as Nize Hat has had time to age, most of the parts of the scent that I wasn’t enjoying have subsided and even vanished. It’s still there, if I inhale my wrist, but it’s a very quiet smell, now. It’s like sweetly powdery rubber – like a very old, quietly disintegrating Superball. It’s actually a bit nostalgic.

I consider this scent less conquering the sea at the head of a floatilla of clockwork sharks than it is tempting whales to the surface to slaughter with said sharks, only to find the whales are made of candy and are only really useful for smokeless candles that burn long and low into the night.

Which is to say, I really didn’t like it. It’s the only one so far that I was tempted to go wash off, because while it wasn’t unpleasant, I just didn’t really enjoy it or the associations the smell brought forth. It’s currently at the bottom of the list of things I’ve tried, and topping the (newly created) List Of Scents I Will Be Happy To Give Away.

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